elbizri.com

There is no short-cut to deciphering coded pub-talk. Every pub has its own private language of in-jokes, nicknames, phrases and gestures. Like the private languages of other social units such as families, couples, school friends etc., coded pub-talk emphasises the social bonds between pub regulars, reinforcing their sense of ‘belonging’.

I found this article while researching online interactions and behaviour.

Most anthropologists go off to remote parts of the world to live among exotic tribes, observe their behaviour and ask endless questions in order to understand and explain their strange customs. In 1992, the BLRA asked the experienced social scientists at SIRC to apply the same research techniques in the British pub… In 1995 the SIRC Research team – led by Research Manager Joe McCann and Senior Researcher John Middleton – embarked on yet another six-month anthropological pub-crawl. In total, the research on which this book is based has involved observation work in over 800 pubs, consultations with over 500 publicans and bar staff and interviews with over 1000 pubgoers – both natives and tourists.

It made me realize that my subconcious goal seems to be to turn every social meeting into a pub. Is it genetic?

…arguing, for the British male, is a critical element of the ‘pursuit of intimacy’. Arguing allows males to show interest in one another; to express emotion; to be demonstrative; to reveal their personal beliefs, attitudes and aspirations, and to discover those of their companions – in other words, to become more intimate, without acknowledging that this is their objective.

Apparently so.

Whether you are male or female, and whatever the sex or social background of your native companions, the words “It’s my round – what are you having?” will always be appreciated as a friendly gesture. This line may not be in your phrase book, but it is one of the most useful sentences in the English language.

SIRC – Passport to the Pub

Listening to music releases the same “feelgood” chemicals as eating and having sex, researchers have found.The neuroscientist and former rock music producer Prof Daniel Levitin said music activates the brain area responsible for feeling pleasure, excitement and satisfaction.

A woman listening to music, music vibes as good as sex and food
Research shows that music has specific effects on the body’s physiology

Prof Levitin, an associate professor of psychology at the McGill University in Montreal, Canada, suggests that understanding how different types of music affects the body can help people choose songs or bands that could help them achieve tasks or goals.

He found the brain of someone listening to music reacts in a similar way to that of a gambler when winning a bet, a skydiver about to leap out of a plane or someone who has just taken drugs.

Music vibes as good as sex and food – Telegraph

 This is very silly. A pseudo online roleplaying game where you increase your power (XP, or eXPerience) by doing household chores.

Recruit a party of adventurers from your household or office, and whenever one of you completes a chore, you can log it and claim XP.

Chore Wars :: Earning Experience Points for Housework

I’ve been enjoying this free site that gives you movie recomendations based on a simple profile and your previous feedback. It slowly but surely is figuring out that just because I’m sophisticated and thenthitive and can’t stand holliwood schlock doesn’t necessarily mean I’m that I’m interested in horriblanous chick flicks either.

We need a new word for the ever increasingly intelligent-but-not-really algorithms (amazon suggestions, this site) that pervade the online world.

What to Rent! – Movie Rental Recommendations

(EDIT: Ok, it just gave me 3 Fellini movies in a row. I guess it has now put me in yet another category. No, really, it’s good, it’s good.)

Well, maybe not, but this pissed me off no end.

BOSTON (Reuters) – War and politics are largely ignored by American teenagers, according to a Harvard University study released on Tuesday, which found that 60 percent of them pay little attention to daily news.

Researchers interviewed 1,800 people between January and March and found that 28 percent of Americans between the ages of 12 and 17 said they pay almost no attention to news every day. Another 32 percent said they pay only casual attention to one news source a day.

“News is not something that gets a lot of time or attention or interest from teens,” said Thomas Patterson, a professor of government and the press at Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School of Government.

Among people aged 18 to 30, the poll found 48 percent said they are inattentive to daily news. Only 23 percent of older Americans said they largely ignore news.

In general, soft stories about celebrities interest young people more than hard news stories like congressional votes or developments in Iraq.

One reason teenagers may pay less attention to news than older Americans is only one in 20 young people rely heavily on a daily newspaper, according to the survey, which had a margin of error of 2 percent to 3 percent.

Hey! Young america! Go fuck yourself! Wait, no, don’t bother – that’s being done for you. Here, I’ll tell you what: don’t go fuck yourself – instead sit around reading up on Britney Spears and Paris Hilton while everyone else in the whole wide world fucks you. The administration (who lie and steals from you), the corporations (who lie and steal from you) , the chinese(who feed you poison, lie about it, and steal your jobs) , even your own parents (who the fucking fuck do you think got us into this mess?) have and are fucking you. So, enjoy the moment, while it lasts.

Oh, whatever. Go fuck yourself, you little shits.

U.S. teenagers have little interest in news: study | U.S. | Reuters

If you send email to an alias of my domains that I’m no longer interested in getting mail at, you get the following autoresponce.

Due to excessive spam. This email address has been shut off.

If you are attempting to contact us for legitimate reason, please go to the website, and contact us from the address available there. Or, alternately call us, at four one five, three three three, nine three, nine one.

If you are attempting to hawk sketchy weight loss drugs, penis extension devices, get-rich-quick schemes, or incredibly low, no-money-down home mortgages, we regret to inform you that we are incredibly rich, well endowed, physically attractive and are already being >paid< by the last guy to borrow money from him. Additionally, we sleep incredibly well, have absolutely no pain or other need for prescription medication, and, in any case are sponsored by several major drug manufacturers and universities, so we get all our drugs for free.

Furthermore, since we helped Bram Cohen invent the bit torrent, and solved several major bugs that stumped Bill Gates in Windows XP and Vista, (not to mention Photoshop, Dreamweaver and MS Office), we have no need for any low cost software of dubious origins.

It goes without saying that due our bent for over-achievement, combined with our incredible personal magnetism, we have any and every attractive individual on the planet of either gender and most species at our beck and call, and consequently no need for any obscene photography or videos you may have made with your daughter, niece and/or household pets. Additionally, while we understand the difficulties you must face differentiating your product in a market open for competition from anyone with genitalia and a camera, and we must certainly applaud your ever-increasing displays of originality, we would like to point out that what you are trying to foist on us these days is no longer sexual – even by loosest use of the term. It is just sad, mean and gross. A bit of a turn off.

For my dear foreign correspondents, we wish you well. We must regretfully inform you, however, that we are not without our failings, and in our business of running the world, one of those failings has been to neglect to learn Russian, Chinese, or other foreign languages. Naturally, this is to our regret, but the facts of the matter remain: we can’t read what you send us. It is clear that, whatever it is, it is quite urgent – that much we can tell that from the multiple colours and all the exclamation points. Sadly, we cannot respond. However, please don’t stop your correspondence – it is reassuring to be reminded that English speakers have no monopoly on blind greed, ambition and a neglect for the consequences of their actions.

If you are contacting me from overseas and have taken the admirable step of bridging our linguistic divide, we applaud you. Particularly you: Dr Charles James Lawrence M’godegobo. We are certain that a man who has surmounted the unbelievable difficulties and misfortune that you describe in your letter should have no problem pulling off the heist of your countrymen’s finances you propose – without our assistance. The sadness we feel when you or your compatriots contact us (brought about by the fact that, in actuality, you live god-awful shithole and that our consumptive, luxurious first-world existence is responsible) is ameliorated by the news that there is such a plethora of money idling around in the bank accounts of your country’s financial institutions waiting to be ripped off. Truly, Africa is the real land of opportunity.

Finally: whoever continues to send us mysteriously blank and empty emails: your missives entertain us greatly. Please send more: while we am not finished perusing the ones you have already sent, we plan to make time away from my duties in order to go through them all very carefully.

Thank you, have a good day, and please continue to think about the impact of your actions you do anything.

People, people, we really need to be more original in picking your email addresses. You might be the only jbrown, or j_brown, j.brown or jamesb69 in your personal social circle, but if you have a very simple, common email alias, particularly at one of the large hosts, such as hotmail, or gmail, you run serious risk of getting sent other people’s mail.

A friend of mine has a ‘first initial, last name’ at blahblah.com address like that and he gets stuff all the time in his gmail account. Most recently, he got the following email:

dear Dr. Krenshaw [not the real name, obviously];

we just wanted to thank you for your tremendous effort with the robotics team. It was very exciting just to be present at such an event, and without you that would have been impossible. We were very happy to see Louis become so engaged in it, robotics seems to have unlocked some new doors for him. The amount of time that you have had to sacrifice from your personal life for this cause is substantial, and it is very much appreciated by us!

thank you so much,
barbara & phil

All good and well. They should pay more attention when typing in an email address. A minor, slip of the hand, or the head, or the automagic-email-address-filling-out feature of their email program, no doubt, but we certainly can’t just let them walk away from such heinous crime unmolested. Here was the reply I got him to send them:

Barbara and Phil,

I am equally honoured to have met you. My wife and I were deeply touched by your solicitations, but I must admit, your reputation preceded you, and I was unable to broach the topic at hand in as gentle manner as I would have wish to.

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